Well, so, you happen to attend a nightclub that you are accustomed to on a given night and as you are going about your business, dancing the night away, perhaps sipping on a drink or two, and having the usual fun that you usually have when you go there, you see something that completely catches your eye and full attention! At first you wonder if it could be possible that such a feeling has just started creeping inside of you, making you feel like a 16 year old kid again. It's a girl - a new girl, new to you and new to the club, someone who you have not seen before and who is simply stunning and beautiful and has you feeling like a new person all over again! 

You see, this happens from time to time and it's not a big deal, but there are some times when it really just overtakes you. It takes a very special type of person, perhaps the looks, perhaps just how they walk or dance, or perhaps it's a connection you had with her from another life (if you believe in that...lol), or whatever it might be, it really takes over you. Some people like to call it "instant chemistry" and it simply means that you get butterflies inside from a first glance or a first conversation or a first dance. :)

Well, let's say you want to not act like all the other guys are acting toward her (as you have observed after a while) and all you do is ask her for a dance, she agrees and you dance with her. After that, you simply thank her and you decide to just continue going about your business, dancing and letting it be. You might dance with her again the same night and then simply go home, thinking how gorgeous she was. 

Then, a month later or so, you see her again, but this time there is virtually nobody who you are interested in dancing with, and she feels the same way. So, out of nowhere and very randomly, you simply happen to spend the rest of the night dancing with her, talking in between, you buy her a drink or two, and at the end of the night you even give her your number (allowed by her), and as she dials it she tells you: "ok, now you have my number in your phone." Oh that could be a very special feeling, right?

Well, so you see her again, say...the next day, lol, and now you are getting interested in finding out if perhaps there would be a chance that the interest might be mutual. But you naturally doubt it, and as you are conscious about not 'hovering' over her, you simply tell her after having a few dances with her that if she feels that she wants to dance with other people to feel free. And then you sense that perhaps it came off as if you are the one who wants to dance with other people and you are just saying that to gain your own space (as many people do in the scene, guys and girls). And you also realize something changed in her the moment you offered that. Oh how do you come back from that? Especially if you're not used to being a guy who is always playing the field and prefer to normally behave like a casual guy who simply goes out to dance alone and comes back home alone, every night, so that you don't come off as or gain a reputation of being a dog. Well, fact is that the vibe could be changed dramatically by a simple statement like that, where you thought that perhaps that was the best thing to say at the moment (perhaps from past experiences when someone always wanted her own space away from you). All you wanted was to not seem as 'crowding' her since you had just started to get to know her. 

Well, whatever happens later may result in completely different scenarios to every person who might experience something like this. But if the outcome is that you know that there was a change of vibe, then really, that is your luck. - Or maybe there was never any real connection and it was all in your head, and thus, the change of vibe is also just in your head. Right?

What I've found is that in this scene, guys are forced to walk a very thin line between the risk of appearing 'uninterested' by allowing too much space, and appearing like a total creep by being too 'pushy' or 'not allowing that person her space.' If you don't show enough interest with a woman who needs to see this because perhaps she is so beautiful that she hears nice comments and gets nice treatments from a variety of guys, out of whom 90%+ are just dogs who simply play numbers games and are not willing to give her quality time, then she may classify you as just being another person who she simply cannot trust. But if you show too much interest too soon, then that might also drive away a nice girl who you might have had a good interest in, as she also classifies you as just being another person who she simply cannot trust. And since nowadays, many women also behave like men and are in it to play the field as well (the whole women's concept of "play or be played"), then the whole game has become much more complex and you really have to search well and sort out carefully to find someone valuable and worth your time, interest, and any investment of effort. 

All in all, in Salsa, being able to find and establish a successful relationship with someone who completely captivates you at some point is a tricky achievement that eludes most people. There could be a hundred theories as to why this happens or why this is the case, but the fact is that it is the reality. 

That song is totally cool! Girls like that don't exist, do they? Girls who go hard for their men! ;-) Love the lyrics! :)  -- Ok, that's a whole different topic. 

Leave a comment or two!